Dating ends in one of two ways: you break up or you get married. That’s the simple fact. So to everyone who chooses to date, you deserve a real big high five for putting yourself out there, setting yourself up for heartache and hopefully coming out a stronger person with some lessons learned.
Unfortunately, so many of us find ourselves stuck before the break up and instead of cutting strings and moving on, we hold on to something, and it drains us. Completely totally drains us. It’s amazing the things we do to prevent the pain from a breakup. Like put yourself through copious amounts of pain while you’re stuck in limbo…
Maybe it’s time to be courageous, not only for your sanity, but for your future faith in relationships, and end it.
Woah, woah, woah… slow the breaks, right? How can you just end something when you’ve poured so much time and energy into it, and you really do care for the person? That’s the kicker. You care. At one point is enough to make you stop caring? There’s clearly a reason that you’re stuck in the stage right before a breakup.
You don’t fight, or argue. The other person hasn’t cheated on you or lied to you. But yet it is physically, mentally and emotionally draining you. Your emotions are constantly pouring out, and not in a good way. Constantly you’re trying to make sense of the little things. You are using your energy to understand rather than to genuinely care for the other person. You cry and have no idea why, you can’t pin point it, but something feels off.
Gah, why don’t we trust our gut? Because seriously, if the other person cared about you the way they once did, you would know it and better yet, you would trust it. Why tip-toe around the fact that things have taken a downhill turn? Oh, because you’re afraid you’re going to lose them. But is that really the end of the world when you shouldn’t be with them anyways?
You’ve learned all the lessons you can from the relationship. You had fun while the times were good and you grew as a person when the times weren’t so good. So why be sorta together when you could be single and explore other options and other lessons? Because face it, even if you can see other people, are you really putting your best self forward with someone else in the back of your mind?
The worst thing about being stuck in that “almost break up” stage might possibly be the way it makes you feel, or the type of person it makes you become. Constantly questioning yourself and your sanity… Wondering what you’re doing wrong and asking yourself how you can change to make that person like you the way they once did… You end up feeling desperate and lonely when the other person becomes distant and leaves you hanging. Going out of your way to make sure the other person is okay that you put your feelings to the side and constantly bite your tongue… becoming so complacent with the way things are that you don’t even realize how much you’re hurting yourself. You lose who you are and you lose sight of the fact that a relationship is supposed to go both ways.
Let’s not forget the opposite of not standing up for yourself… if you act on these feelings instead of keep them bottled up, all of a sudden you’re bat-shit crazy and so aggressive and needy. You rocked the damn boat and now it’s your fault all over again.
It all hurts. It makes you go freakin’ crazy. And as cliché as it sounds, you deserve better. You deserve to be happy, not drained.
Learn one more lesson before the relationship is over. Stand up for yourself, confront the situation and end the stupid limbo. Go through the nasty heartache with the help of your friends. Cry, be sad, drink, eat some ice cream and go a little crazy. It’s healthy. And it’s the path to moving on and trying it all over again.